Covetous Researcher
Who am I?
Such a simple question yet the answer to it eludes me every time. I was born in Brazil, but i don't feel as a Brazilian. I moved to Portugal, but I still feel this distant feeling also, I don't even feel this begins to describe who I am, it depends on my humor, what I do know about who am I is that, I am me, someone who likes authenticity, someone who has no place to call home, someone who does not believe in god yet wishes to do so despite being unable to, someone who doesn't define himself by being part of some group, someone who despises fate, someone who tries to persevere even after giving up on hope, someone who says mean things even though that's not how they genuinely think. I guess the best way to describe myself is to describe me as just another Human.
What do I do?
I struggle, I make games(most are just prototypes), I carve, I think, I do archery, I read books (more of an audio-book kinda guy), I watch videos, I get angry(quite often really), I dream about how the world should be, I do whatever I like or what seems interesting
Why write in such a way?
Just 'cause..... Honestly I have no clue, the previous description was a facade, and it was really old so some changes are needed, it said I made games with Unity, but now I use mainly Godot. Also it didn't talk about me, and since you are in this page I guess i should write something better.
What do I like?
Honestly I like pretty much everything that grabs my interest, i hold a belief that every subject there are is interesting, and any subject that seems like it's not is just an issue of not having seen it through the right lenses, I feel this more strongly when I see someone talk about what they have passion in. But to give an actual answer I'd say the following is what comes to mind: Games, Stories, Characters, Science, Religion, Nature, Learning, the Unknown, Psychology, Philosophy, Biology, Astronomy, Physics (miss me with that complex stuff), Animals, Plants, Humanity.
What do I hate/dislike?
Insects, Humans, Sweat, Pointing fingers, Being a slave, Fate, My Owners, Humanity, Disrespect, Anything running/flying at me, Beer, Coffee without milk, Game Companies with an IPO, Game Companies that are owned by another with an IPO, Fools, People who think and act like they are better than others.
Why do you make games (right now there is not even one game published)?
Games are a form of art, it allows people to feel things, see things through other perspectives, open their eyes or divide them, it is a powerful media and I grown up with them, if possible I'd like to offer my perspective to people. If possible, I'd like to use games as a form of auto-analysis on my own ideas. Doing so opens my ideas to all sort of criticism, it exposes their weak-spots and opens up the possibility of forging them into something much stronger or much clearer.
Are you depressed?
No, I were in the past. Depressed, lonely, putting my own mind to work against itself. Did someone rescued me? Individually? No, but as a collective they did, I do not delude myself, they were a big help in it but I went through it alone, either by avoiding contact or by lying. But after enough time with that dreadful feeling I understood that I were a frog in a well, I knew nothing, and that continuing digging down wouldn't make me reach the other side of the hole, it would just leave me tired and courting death. (I finally managed to say it \o/)
The only way out of this hole I dug myself is to create my own exit, maybe by climbing it or by digging at an 45º angle, but the truth is that you are the one who has to fight against the odds to remove yourself from there, it's not noble, it's not pretty and most certainly it is not satisfying but it is your only and best option on this matter.
Are you done writing?
Yes, but you could leave earlier if it was bothering you, it is not like I'm holding you hostage.
Something you said hurt my feelings and you should have more respect for.........
Fuck your feelings. You are not welcome.
